Another Great Poem by Neil McArthur
STAFF MEETINGS
If you had to list the greatest waste of teachers' precious time,
The Staff Meeting would rate Number One, the classic Pantomime.
This monthly time of torture is as welcome as the flu,
And leaves you with the same effects of pain and feeling blue.
Work Place Health and Safety should ban this monthly farce,
For the damage done in these few hours all others they surpass.
What's meant to bring about the peace more often causes war,
As staff tiptoe through minefields of egos by the score.
The Staffroom Whinger who complains and always vents the spleen,
On teaching loads and discipline and all things in between.
Is strangely quiet at Staff Meetings when called upon to talk,
But opens up next day at lunch with the old familiar squawk.
But there is one who revels in a Staff Meets mini storm,
And that's the Union Rep who sees a platform for reform.
"Our classroom sizes are too big, more pay, less hours remember,
We'll call a strike, go slow, stop work for a pay-rise come December."
The Wise Old Hand who's taught the school since Bradman made his ton,
"Don't change a thing, remember, what good the past has done.
If the thing aint broke, why fix it," he reasons with his peers,
"Some things deserve to be preserved, they've stood the test of years."
There's always some bloke, Handgrenade, who blows away the calms,
His chauvinistic comments have the women up in arms.
"Females want to run the show, their place is in the home,
They parade all day like peacocks, they'll soon be runnin' Rome."
The Deputy informs the Staff. "Week A is now Week B,
On Monday Periods 4 and 6 will swap with 1 and 3.
This Friday, Morning Tea is Lunch, Line 5 becomes Line 2,
We'll cancel sport this Thursday and Red House now is Blue."
Well, suddenly all Hell breaks loose, and chaos reigns supreme,
"I've booked guest speakers for Line One," "What about the footy team?"
"That's right the boys get all the perks," "There's exams set for Line 3,"
"I've planned my cooking class for lunch, no time at morning tea."
Perhaps we need a new approach one based on having Fun,
Yes Fun should be the focus of what's planned and what is done.
The goals that staff and students have be fun-based day by day,
And banish all Staff Meeting gloom, as Fun directs the way.